He just wants to stop, the sounds and sights of this world, he wants them to fade away. He wants to fade away. He can't though, not with Anna shifting and crying and moving his hair. She was hurting too, he knew it. He wanted to help her, but he didn't know how. He couldn't even help himself. He looks to her, his eyes shining with tears, his face red from crying. His expression breaks when she apologizes again, and he moves to hold her close. His shoulders shake as he wraps her in his arms and holds her close.

He knows she doesn't blame him for this, but he can't think like she does. He's not alone, but it feels like he is. As a child he'd somehow convinced himself that Nana and Father were there watching him, even if he couldn't see or speak to them at all. The thought comforted him, and he'd wanted to make them proud. He doesn't feel that way now. It was like they'd left him all over again, but now it was even worse because they'd taken Susan as well.

He should never have thought he could be the right kind of family for Susan. He'd tried so hard, done everything he could to do right by him, but in the end it had all been meaningless. He should have known better than to think he could succeed here when he'd failed so much everywhere else. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. All he'd ever wanted was to do this one thing right. Why was he such a failure?